I have been living in the place I grew up for almost 4 years now. My priority, after 20 years of living across the country, was to spend time with my parents. In this most recent time there have been both tears and laughter, but mostly I am in that bittersweet frame of mind where I am aware of change and the approach of endings.
All time is to be valued, but I am trying to experience time in the present. The past offers comparisons, none of which will change what's now, and the future holds the promise of loss.
Today I sat next to my mother at a concert. I could smell her perfume as we watched my father perform music that decades ago he had taught me to love. I was acutely aware that this current moment contained references both forward and backward. Also on stage was a friend who'd just days ago, lost her companion of 42 years. As illness creeps slowly into almost corner of my parent's life, I try to honor their preferences while initiating future options. I give hugs and kisses and say the words, "I love you." I want them to know that they are loved beyond measure.
